My 30 year old self

As I approach this milestone, I have been struggling. My head has been focused on my failures and insecurities, on the opinions of others, and on my struggle to find balance. I have a people-pleasing mentality, and I struggle with my own self-worth sometimes. Not everyday… there are plenty of days I feel adequate, or even “super”. But many more times I don’t. I put a lot of pressure on myself, and I don’t always get the words of affirmation I need.

But honestly, it is exhausting. All those woman power quotes seem so cheesy, but today I am putting on my crown. I am just done with letting other people’s attitudes and opinions impact my day, my feelings, my feelings of self-worth. In my 20s, I built my future from the ground up, I invested in my career, my family, my home. In my 30s I plan on enjoying it. I am a powerful woman, I need to re-claim the power I let others have on me. I am older, maybe not much wiser… but I am going to allow my own happiness to shine through.

It’s really about getting back to the basics. The time before kids and a spouse, when I had self-love. As a mom and wife, I spend a lot of energy loving on others, or stressing on providing the life that my kids deserve and need. I keep forgetting about myself. And lately, it’s made me short, anxious, and frustrated when I don’t feel like I am measuring up. But I am enough, flaws and all. This life is beautiful, even though it gets messy. Why shouldn’t I love it, and love myself despite the hiccups and mess ups?

My crown still fits, and I am a queen. And I am not going to forget it.

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