What is your euphoria? This is something I have found myself thinking about as I progress into my 30s this year. I feel like my 20s were a whirlwind of finding a career, college, marriage, home ownership, starting a family… everyday just pushing on despite the endless sleepless nights, the expectations I put on myself, excelling in my career, figuring out how to raise a tiny human – and then doing it again 2 more times. So much time spent surviving. But my kids are not infants anymore, so when I look forward, what is my euphoria? And how do I get there?
I envision my children playing in a yard, where they are giggling and running free. I envision a tiny garden that I can tend to while we are just hanging outside every day unless it’s raining and we are cuddled up watching movies on the couch. I picture my husband showing them how to shovel snow and rosey noses. A swing set and lots of tag. An apple tree to pick from to make my favorite desert – Apple pie-fresh.
What we realized last year was that Arizona was not our final place. We have loved this state, and our home. We have raised our babies here, and we don’t know what our chances of having our family would have been without our fantastic RE here as we struggled with infertility. I don’t know where I would be in my career path if I hadn’t started working with my company 11 years ago, making this field my dream job.
This journey has been good to us so far, and we are so thankful for it-but we have reached a point that we are ready for what is to come. We have a lot of years of child raising ahead and lots of memories to make, and we are so blessed and grateful we will get to do that in Minnesota where many of our family is. We won’t get to have everyone there, but we won’t be too far from the rest. We feel that the fresh air, open space, and change of seasons will do us a lot of good. And we can’t wait…
What is your euphoria? What is keeping you from it? Embrace it when the time is right, or even if it doesn’t seem like it is. When something is meant to be, the pieces have a way of fitting perfectly – I choose to believe that comes from a higher power. In the last year, so many anxieties that I have had with the idea of an out of state move have all ironed out in a way I could not have predicted. Sometimes you just know in your heart that a decision is right, even if you don’t know how you are going to get there. Start your baby steps and see where it leads you.
As the months ahead continue, Modern Mama will start a new adventure. I hope to share that as we pack, drive across country, and built our forever home on rural country land. I may be a modern mama, but I am ready to go back to my country roots. I can’t wait to plant these seeds our sister and brother gave us for Easter.